21 November, 2014

#SpecialFeature :: The Author’s Quirky Glossary from The Sales Room

*** Special Feature - November 2014 ***

About the Author
The most vivid memory of R.T. Manu Ramesh’'s childhood is that of changing schools every two years owing to his father’s transferable job as a civil servant with the Government of India. It varied from a convent run by Catholic priests in white cassocks in a small town at one end of the spectrum to residential schools of ochre robed Hindu Sanyasis .He graduated as a Mechanical Engineer from the reputed RV College of Engineering, Bangalore, India, in 2006 and started his career in the IT industry as a software programmer. He however found his true calling a couple of years later when a dynamic, young, entrepreneur, invited him to join his start-up, Aurigo Software Technologies, as a part of the Sales and Marketing team. The firm was to expand in India in a big way. Playing a crucial role in the company’s growth Manu was instrumental in its foray into the India market and acquisition of first ten customers in India. He now works for an MNC and is based in San Jose, California. He is an avid tennis player and swimmer. He has an ear for music. He enjoys travelling, reading, water surfing and watching movies during free time.

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The Author’s Quirky Glossary

1) Tam Brahm : Short for Tamil Speaking Brahmins broadly categorized into Iyers ( worshippers of Lord Shiva ) and  Iyengars  ( worshippers of Lord Vishnu ) .In the old days the former could be recognized from prominent, horizontal, white lines drawn across their forehead while the latter from white and red lines drawn vertically. Today they are both recognized by their obsession for mathematics and a deeply held belief that any ailment can be cured by drinking copious quantities of milk (even lactose intolerance) and a vegetarian diet. The wild and fun loving ones, those your mom tells you not to hang around with, violate the Tam Brahm dietary code of conduct by eating eggs in a sensational show of rebellion and indignation!

2) Hijras : The lady boys of India sans the employment opportunities and social acceptance. They are relegated to performing at ceremonies, begging and sex work.  They are considered harbingers of good luck and virility, although that is the last thing a country with a population crises needs.

3) Sambar : A spicy vegetable and lentil stew made with tamarind and popular in the southern states of India. A dash of asafoetida is advised to prevent the one consuming it from rocketing into space owing to the flatulence which the lentils might cause.

4) Pav bhaji : A dish which comprises a thick potato based curry  and served with lightly toasted and buttered bread. Can broadly be categorized under ‘Indian street food’ i.e. food which is great to eat but in the event that things go wrong, shit will hit the fan, literally. I mean it. Have you ever heard of a person taking a crap 40 times in one day? I have!!

5) Ven Pongal and Shakara Pongal : A rice dish prepared in South India with dollop of clarified butter  . It can be made spicy ( ven pongal )or sweet (shakara Pongal ) and is often an  offering to  deities.  Obviously the Indian Gods don’t have to worry about diabetes and calories.

6) Vada Pav : A popular spicy Indian variation of  the burger .It is  100 % vegetarian and hence appropriate for a country in which the cow is worshipped.  And yes, it is India’s answer to Mcdonalds.

7) Anushtub : A meter in poetic form  in the Sanskrit language consisting of four lines of eight syllables each

8) Sidhuisms : One-liners which Indian cricketer Navjot Singh Siddhu comes up with while dishing out expert commentary during the course of a match .  Some of the popular ones include “ Wickets are like wives you never know which way they will turn”, “ bad habits are like soft beds, very easy to get into but very difficult to get out off “, “ You are like a ship stuck in the fog, always blowing your horn”

9) Yudhistira : A character in Indian mythology known for his unflinching adherence to truth and righteousness. Also known for the fact that he shared his wife with his four bothers. It has however been established that the sex was one on one and the brothers  did not indulge in ménage-a –trios or anything as or more exciting

10) Rasam Sadam ( Rice and Rasam ) : Rasam is a South Indian soup prepared with tamarind , tomatoes and other ingredients.  It is the basis of the Mulligatawny soup made popular in the west by the English who went back home after sampling the local Indian flavors ( flavors include but are  not restricted to food)

11)  Haftas : Protection money which serves as a income for gangsters and  augments the meager salaries of  Indian Policemen.

12) Mama : Literally means mother’s brother . It is also used to refer to the cops who need to be bribed

About the Book
Rajesh Iyer, a young, ambitious salesperson, returns to ñThe Sales Roomî of Oregon Software Technologies after an aborted attempt at getting into a business school in the US, only to notice the metamorphosis of the software start-up which he had earlier been an integral part of. What used to be a rat-infested hole in the midst of a vegetable market is now a swanky, state of the art facility owned by an upcoming Bollywood star. The enthusiastic and compact team firing on all cylinders is replaced by a sclerotic and bureaucratic set up. Sales review meetings, once rife with passionate discussions, are now replete with profanities. The ill tempered angel investor's scream can be heard all the way from his villa in New York.Rajesh, now shunted into an innocuous role finds every effort made to alleviate the condition of the demoralized sales team, met with resistance. As revenues dwindle and tempers rise, Rajesh realizes he is running out of time and options. He either toes the CEO, Venky's line and becomes party to a sham or quits citing a host of plausible reasons. This hilarious narrative takes the reader from plush corporate boardrooms of Bangalore to the seedy hotels in Delhi as Oregon meanders in search of illusory customer wins. Rajesh meets several interesting characters ranging from the busty Polish graphics designer to the loquacious pimp masquerading as a taxi driver.

Buy the Book

1 Autographed Paperback Copy of The Sales Room by R.T.Manu Ramesh to a lucky Indian Resident.

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