I wonder if my life is determined by chaos, if life begins at 40, how to drop fear, if marriage is a fraud and a failure, how to cook success, if creativity is an immortal project, if I am proactive in all spheres of my life...
In I Wonder, Merce Cardus answers these and other meaningful questions that we all raise sooner or later in our lives. Each chapter opens with a movie quote showcasing a specific question. Not only does I Wonder reflect the wisdom that the author gained through research and reflection, but it also provides a lively dose of humor.
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I WONDER ● WHAT MEN THINK
JOHN ROBIE: Miss Stevens?
FRANCES
STEVENS: Yes, Mr.
Burns?
JOHN ROBIE: You know what I think?
FRANCES
STEVENS: About what?
JOHN ROBIE: You.
FRANCES
STEVENS: I
don’t really care.
—To Catch a
Thief, 1955, Alfred
Hitchcock.
Sex, sports, and booze.
All right, thank you for coming.
That’s all for today.
Whoa…whoa…whoa… really?!
Okay, I will give it a try.
A couple of months ago, I went
out to Starbucks to get a tall iced coffee, light ice, no room for milk for
Kim—I gave up saying my real name. I can’t spend fifteen minutes pronouncing
it—. So, as I was walking in, an incredible gorgeous guy just checked me out
from head to toe.
“Thank you,” I said politely,
while he was holding the door open for me.
“No, no. Thank YOU, and good morning,”
he said, stressing the vowels.
I kept staring at him with my jaw
dropping. At my other side, I had one member of the Starbucks staff holding a
walkie-talkie asking me what I wanted. I replied briskly, “Grande, macchiato,
hot!”
A week later, I was sitting
comfortably in one of the armchairs, when the same hot guy came in. I did my
hair quickly, swirled open the tube of lipstick, painted it on my lips and
smacked them together, lifted my head a bit, and with my GPS on, I sent him my
vibes: hellooooo, meeee, the goodmooorning girl!
Nothing.
What’s wrong with guys?!
Alas, my Dedicated and
Long-Suffering Female-Readers, when a single, or married, or divorced, or
unclassifiable man sees a woman that lights up his sexual circuit board, his
brain instantly produces a quick sexual thought that will most likely disappear
in no time. University of California’s researchers found that it takes the male
brain only one-fifth of a second to classify a woman as sexually hot or not.
I won’t deny this information
cleared up some things, yet aroused a quite intriguing question. What do men think? Or put in
other words, how does the male brain process romance?
In order to plumb the depth of
it, I read The Male Brain, written by
Harvard neuropsychiatrist Louann Brizendine, and got some interesting hints. So
I invite you to join me to a pleasurable Trans-Siberian trip. A journey that
will transport us through the pleasurable centers of the male brain. All
aboard!
*Moscow. Day 1.
The Kremlin Clock announced
midnight. George got in the restaurant car, sat at a table, and checked out the
passengers. His visual brain circuit is
always on the lookout for fertile mates, so he is promptly allured by
Nadia’s beauty.
A group of neurons at the very centre of his brain—the
ventral tegmental area—processes the information. George’s brain is
manufacturing testosterone—the party animal gets into the scene. For a while, they played the contact
readiness sport, a non-verbal flirting sport, which if you master it, you score
the most.
*Siberia. Day 2-3.
The train was crossing the
vastness of Siberia while Nadia had breakfast. With fortitude, George asked
permission to accompany her. Her exquisite beauty attracts most passengers’
eyes, disdaining to look at the window’s view of endless birch trees. George
felt fortunate, so he used all the honey-tongue blandishments. He releases a pheromone called
Androstenedione—the
seducer is home. He yearns to get her into his deluxe 2-berth compartment and
have sex right away. He
actually yearns for it from the moment he saw her, but he knows she will be
more prone to it with males who bring her meat.
He accompanied her to her
compartment, thinking of his next move. Men
have an enormous fear of rejection. Men’s stage fright is proportional to
how hot the woman is and how much they want to impress her. He didn’t want to
gum up the works, but took the plunge by kissing her. Her smell and saliva confirms to him that genes are compatible—since
pheromones carry genetic information.
The chemical messenger—dopamine—goes to another structure
in his brain called the nucleus accumbens. George’s mind
cannot stop having mental imagery of pleasant and emotional scenes.
*Lake Baikal. Day 4.
The train was rounding the most
voluminous freshwater lake in the world, Lake Baikal, while Peter and Nadia had
a delicious Russian dinner. He touched her hand several times. He regaled her
with stories about his adventures that made her laugh. They were not concerned
about the camels and yurts—the circular tents used by Mongolian nomads. Dopamine—the energizer—is increasing in the
area for anticipation of pleasure and reward. They ended up making love.
*Mongolian customs. Gobi Desert. Day 5.
The train passed through
Mongolian customs and got into the open wastes of the Gobi Desert. In his
deluxe 2-berth compartment, the drapes remained closed. The more Nadia and George make love, the more addicted their bodies and
brains become. Early-stage romantic love brings a person straight to the brink
of euphoria.
*The Great Wall of China-Beijing. Day 6.
After the train had crossed the
mountains through the Great Wall of China, George and Nadia arrived at
Beijing’s main station. He, with a long
version of the vasopressin receptor gene, asked Nadia to see her again
soon. His caudate nucleus has memorized
the one who has given him pleasure, Nadia.
The love and lust circuit has been completed.
A study in Sweden found that men with the long version of
the vasopressin receptor gene were twice as likely to leave bachelorhood behind
and commit to one woman for life. The vasopressin is a hormone that plays an important role
in social behavior and bonding.
So longer is always better?—Wink.
About the Author:
Merce Cardus is the author of two novels, I say Who, What, and Where! and Deconstructing Infatuation, and the nonfiction I Wonder.
Her books are inspirational, thought-provoking, and witty, with themes that reflect and explore the great questions of Life, constantly searching for Truth.
To learn more, visit her at: Website I Twitter
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