29 August, 2015

#SpecialFeature :: #GuestPost - Palm’s Booklet of Impractical Poems by C G Salamander

*** Special Feature - August 2015 ***

About the Book:
There is chaos and pandemonium in the streets of Madras, and it is up to Nigel (an officer of the Imperial Police) to restore order to the city... only he hasn't quite learned about India's Independence. Yet.

When the newest and most successful religion (Cabbagism) threatens to bring about the destruction of the world, it is up to a melancholic zombie and a collection of rowdy farm animals to save the earth.

A porcupine, after setting out on a journey away from home, falls in love with an armadillo. 

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Palm’s Booklet of Impractical Poems:

Here’s a sneak peek of what I do when I’m bored – I write poetry! Or rather, I write poetry’s juvenile second cousin. 

1) Khan the Unicorn 

Khan the unicorn with corn for a horn, 
Was grazing one day in a thunder storm,
Soon he was struck down by electric forces, 
And that’s the story of pop corn and horses. 

2) Betty the Yeti. 

I fell in love with a lonely yeti, 
With hair as rough as uncooked spaghetti. 

She's as patient as a Buddhist monk, 
With thicker arms than most tree trunks. 

She's got big soulful beady eyes, 
And fur that's home to a lot of lice. 

There's always food between her teeth, 
But she's got the most alluring feet. 

People may think her abominable, 
But I'd always find her adorable.

3) Neighbor’s Curtains

My Neighbor’s curtains are brownish yellow, 
He really is a gruesome fellow. 
He uses it to wipe his mouth, 
His neck, his stomach, and parts down south. 

About the Author
It was exactly fifteen years ago that C G Salamander realized he was different from all the other Chinese Giant Salamanders. As a child C G Salamander hated living in the muddy crevices along the river banks, and so he decided to leave the Yangtze river and set out on a quest to find himself.

He spent days travelling across the vast terrains of china and finally reached the foothills of the Himalayas. With nowhere to go, and equipped with a childlike sense of wonder for a compass, C G Salamander began scaling the Himalayas where he would later enroll himself in a monastery. During his time in the mountains, he was taught how to read and write by foreigners who’d come to partake in the mountain’s rich culture and cheap herbage.

He spent most of his time in meditation, and eventually learned how to move objects with his mind.After spending a decade in the Himalayas, C.G Salamander traveled south to the city of Chennai, and has remained there ever since. He now spends his time telekinetically moving pens and pencils across paper.

Contact the Author:

1 Lucky Indian Resident will win a Paperback Copy of Palm's Foster Home for Peculiar Stories